Cockney Rhyming Slang

'Oh no it's all gone Pete Tong', No I am not talking about the current trend of Dance Music in the Commercial Charts in the UK but more of the fact that things are not right. You see although Mr. Tong is not happy with his new label he has infact become a victim of the great East End past time that is Cockney Rhyming slang, How and why? keep reading and you will learn but be prepared as like the Guide To... Smack talk showed, things can get a little bit complicated. So get out your Noman Cook and start taking note for this is the guide to.. Cockney Rhyming Slang.

So where did it all come from? as you can guess it did not appear over night, it was the product of many bored trades men on the streets of London, who by trying to escape the fact that they come to work and shout the usual nonsense day after day, tried to make shouting 'Get your apples and peaches here' more interesting. The way they did this was by... you guessed it... replacing the words by something else that rhymes with it, for example 'apples and peaches' becomes 'sandy beaches' to form the sentence 'Get your sandy beaches here'. You will see that the word apples does not get replaced and is not said in the sentence, there is a very good reason for this... what rhymes with apples?. It is a hard thing to understand if is has not been explained to you
before but makes sense if you think about it. Please note that 'Sandy Beaches' is not the only rhyme you can use with 'apples and peaches' for example you could use 'killer leaches' but obviously you would not want to hear that when buying fresh fruit eh?

How do I make my own sentences?
Well there are many ways to do this and by far and way the best and most popular way to do this is to try and match words with famous people.

| Famous Person           | Word
| Alan Whickers           | Knickers
| Tony Blair              | Hair
| Gary Glitter            | Shitter
| Jack Jones              | Ownz
| Frank Skinner           | Dinner
| Brittney Spears         | Beers
| Tony Slattery           | Battery

Now this may seem easy but then you can start getting complicated by replacing many words with one name.

| Famous Person           | Words
| Frank Border            | Out of order
| Norman Cook             | Note book
| Kate and Sydney         | Steak and Kidney

Obviously you don't just have to use peoples names you can just use other objects names.

| Real name               | Replaced name
| Boozer                  | Battle Cruiser
| Bent                    | Stoke on Trent
| Bint                    | polo mint
| Phone                   | Dog and Bone
| Shoe                    | Scooby Doo

I could rattle on for days about these as there are tons! but the point is you now have the power to do so yourself. You now also have to power to stop people from what they are doing just to make them think about what you have just said to them. I think the best time do to this is if you are making a speech to lots of people, you can say something in cockney rhyming slang and while they are busy thinking about what you have just said you can mumble along thus increasing the length of the speech without really saying any more then planned. Another great place to use this twisted method of talking is in a pub, you could say a really long sentence in cockney rhyming slang and to avoid looking stupid others will laugh a long and pretend they know what you are saying, this gives you some dominance over these people as you could easily put them on the spot by making them carry on the sentence.

These are just some ways that you can use cockney rhyming slang to your advantage as in a small group or a large crowd you will always have the image of knowing what the hell you are talking about. On paper cockney rhyming slang does not seems so great but once you get the flow of it you have a great tool. also remember if people start to understand you more you can just change the words for something else! =)

Well I am off for a few David Mellors and a Bo Peep.


Heavy Engine Console
Loading Page... /13-Cockney-Rhyming-Slang