*BRUCE LEE Vs. GUYVER*
Realname: Bruce Lee
Age : 35
Height : 5'6"
Weight : 150 lbs.
Weapons : Nunchukers / Martial Arts
Realname: Sho Fukumatche
Age : 19
Height : 5'8"
Weight : 160 lbs.
Weapons : Bio Booster Armour
Pre match comments
Nightmare : Well we have reached round 3 in the jolly damn fine Who Would Win tournament and I can honestly say that I am getting more and more excited as the tournament continues.. This time up we have a tough fight between the god of Martial Arts - Bruce Lee and the unstoppable killing machine made by a race of super aliens that can turn mountains into a pile of sludge - The Bio-booster amour unit himself, The Guyver... Spooky, what are your thoughts on this one?
Spooky : Well the smart money here has got to be on Guyver, I mean, sure being a martial arts god and inventing your own form of kung-fu is all well and good. But lets be honest its hard to kick somebody?s butt when you've got no arms or legs. I give this one to the Guyver early on... thats why I'm choosing him... HA HA HA... I said it first....RASP!!!!!
Nightmare : Bitch! Well I didnt want him anyway! Now lets get on the phone to Ronny Real here and call for the facts. Bruce is well 'ard and could whip anybodies ass and face it Guyver is just a sweaty 12 year old boy in a rubber costume, Brucey's not even going to break a sweat!
Spooky : Waiter check please!
Nightmare : Thats no waiter! Thats PMI!
PMI : Damn it, I would have gotten his credit card too... Damn you Nightmare! Damn you to hell! He has a gold card doesnt he?!
Spooky : Maybe..
In an old abandoned warehouse in the middle of a bustling city we find Bruce Lee neatly chalking out a large white circle on the floor. Sho Fukumatche is standing in the entrance way to the warehouse with a puzzled look on his face.
As Bruce Lee finishes he stands in the middle and bows and adopts the classic stance...
PMI : Is it me or does old sho actually have no idea he's about to face it off with a guy who's yells are pitched higher than a French poodle in a grinder?
Spooky : To be honest I don't think he's too bothered. That old mans got nothing on sho.
Nightmare : Sho is not having any of this honorable bowing nonsense and has ran straight towards Bruce.. OUCH! Bruce has hit him with a perfectly timed punch to the chest, Sho has got to be reeling from that.
PMI : Well, that's what you get for dissing the rules. I think it's only fair to point out at this point of time that I'm rooting for Bruce. let's face it, even though the guyver armour has it's sweet spots, it's no use if you've been mangled at lightning speed.
Spooky : Well, you're both mad! ***Thwack*** oooooh, and thats sho's elbow making an upclose and personal inspection of the floor. That had to hurt
Nightmare : Sho is down and not looking to good at this point.. Bruce waits for him to return to his feet.. Sho is up and it looks like getting ready to change into the Guyver... yep.. see, told you so!
PMI : Now that's just unfair. I see a perfectly legal hit to the face and he can still mumble that crappy 'guyver'.. hang on, what's he doing with those elbow spikes? ooh.. straight in the six-pack. Bruce doesn't seem to be enjoying that very much, he's bleeding all over the place.
Nightmare : ... But he seems to be enjoying the pain! hes just licked the blood from his hand and hes smiling.
Spooky : Oh yeah. It's the classic -Get cut, taste my own blood, resume well'ard stance and enjoy a momentary bloodlust comeback- routine. Coming straight at you from the textbook that one. Bruce has just charged at Guyver and they are exchanging punches and blocks at a fantastic rate.
PMI : It's funny if you look at it with a bit of vodka behind the chews, it becomes somewhat of a... WHAO! tell me that just didn't happen. In a freak accident the guyver slipped, making Bruce fly over him while trying to perform a classic cartwheel kick.. I hope the dumpster is alright.
Nightmare : Guyvers letting rip with his funky laser beams and its tearing holes in the dumpster! But whats this?! Bruce hits Guyver in the back with his one inch punch.. Guyvers on a one way flight to the wall on the other side of the room!
Spooky : ***Clunk*** Ow! ***Thunk*** oooh ***Clang*** eeek ***Thuddd*** and Guyvers just taken out pretty much every pillar on his trip to the wall... that cannot be good. But, whoa he's up and ***FFFSSSSSSSTTTT*** there goes his funky ventage... the bio-booster armour has erm... well boosted his bio stuff and he's running at full steam back towards the dumpster. He's airborne...and its the trademark cycle kicks to bruce's chest. The Dragon is down.
PMI : If bruce has any skills left, now would be a good time to use them. he just seems to be crawling on the floor using obscene Chinese slang.. It appears that the guyvers in going in the for a kill.. look at those glowing eyes. I think he's about to charge his pecs.. OH NO! the ceiling is starting to come down! that's poetic justice for you, it seems the building doesn't like being excluded from the fight one bit.
Spooky : Oh the humanity... bits of prefab concrete and steel are falling from the sky like rain. Both competitors are taking a beating. Dust is flying up excluding our eyes from the action. I can hear a series of bio-booster noises and Chinese vocalization. ***whack*** ***ting*** ***Vwwiiipppp*** ***ting*** ***KKRUNCH*** Oh my goodness... Bruce and Guyver were obviously getting a bit touchy feely with each other and Guyvers had just snapped both of Bruces arms just below the elbow. Oh man I think I'm gonna puke.
Nightmare : Bruce looks a bit preoccupied by his new flexible arms and does not notice Guyver charging his chest plate covered nuclear atom smashers... ***buuuzzzzzzzsssttttt*** ***crunch*** ***kablammo(TM)*** Well that will be on the news tonight... half of the main street has disappeared along with Bruce Lee..
PMI : there has to be some way I can get that bet back.. *nicks spooky's wallet while he's still sobbing over the loss of the prefab concrete* I'm buying the next round..
Nightmare + Spooky : w00t!
Spooky : Hang on, I think I dropped my wallet somewhere (TM)
Nightmare + PMI : hahaha hohoho hehehe and so on....