Top Ten Things That Suck #9


10 - Coffee machines that think an espresso is the same as coffee made with half the amount of water.

Yes, please give me foul-tasting sludgy crap so that I may continue to be disfunctional why don't you.

9 - Getting overtaken while driving the speed limit on the motorway.

I know your f**kteen thousand pound car can go faster than mine. Where is a paint gun when I need it?

8 - That thing lasers do to your retinas.

yes, it's a focussed beam, very pretty too, but why can't we enjoy it the way the borg can?

7 - Watching the polar bears being bored at the Zoo.

Now why is it that parents get frantic when you toss in their kid for some entertainment? Honestly, you can't expect me to pay entrance just to see some bears being bored can you?

6 - Walking through the train station at any given time.

Why is it that whenever I need to catch a train, everyone seems to have a day off and gently strolls around, blocking my every move, but when I have a day off, the rest of the world needs to catch their train, dragging me into their insane world of stampede induced packbehavior!?

5 - Flyers for spychic healers.

If you feel the urge to bother people with your "gift", can you explain why your name has more characters than fit in an old DOS description field?

4 - Dental floss.

Why is it that for everyone else, this seems normal stuff, but I have the feeling like I'm using steelwire to saw through my jaw?

3 - Eneco cable modem network.

one minute you're flying at 60 kb/s, the other the network's down for an unknown period of time. smart move to put 19000 users on the same network server.

2 - 3COM cable modem.

and IF the network's back online, it takes 15 minutes to reconnect, because those idiots thought it was a good idea to make the modem sweep the ENTIRE BAND for the carrier signal. Idiots.

But what bugs PmI the most...

1 - Beer induced amnesia.

There you are, drinking happily along with your mates, thinking there's no tomorrow (technically a possibility) slamming down whatever your money bought, when all of a sudden it might never have happened. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT THEN!? you're just out of dosh, and you feel crap. okay, that MIGHT be a sign that you did drink a bundle, but how can you be sure?

This weeks top ten things that suck (excluding the film Hackers) are by PMI.


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