If there's one thing we at int13h excel at its achieving nothing. Over the years we have honed this skill into an art form. I consider our collective the definitive group at organised apathy and failure. Most groups in this position would merely fold and disappear up their own orifices never to be heard of again. We'd much rather embrace our laziness and we'd like you to be able to do the same. Hence this guide. Prepare yourself...


Rather than explain the what's and how's of underachieving I'm going to cite some examples for you to try. Then hopefully rather than just copy us you'll understand and evolve your own style. Thus making the world a better place... or summink (tm). Besides there's nothing lamer than plagiarism. Lets go...

Over Ambitious Projects (skill):

My personal favourite. What better way to guarantee failure than to attempt something that is far above what you and your team are capable of. Not only is frustration at the under-par skill base almost certain but it increases friction between the team members no end. The CG movie we were going to make fits into this category nicely. Killed stone dead by lack of skill.

Over Ambitious Projects (time):

Or how about a project that everybody is capable of doing but completion would take a team of 30 professionals 4 years. Ergo 6 drunken losers would take about 17 ice-ages. Again the unnamed unfinished CG anti-project is right at home here.

Spur Of The Moment Projects:

Seemed like a good idea at the time although you were probably slightly drunk. Poorly planned and hastily executed is the order of the day here. This works really well if combined with 'Over Ambitious Projects'. Usually follows the 'I've just had a great idea' gag. The seminal non-event that was Urban Commando slots nicely in here. Yay us!

Intoxicated Projects:

So, you're all sat round drinking Blavod and Dr Pepper, you're into your 5th straight hour of Rogue Spear and some bright spark says 'Hey, I've just had a great idea for content'. This is a 100% guaranteed technique for underachieving. Not only does the rest of the group not a give a damn about what that individual is saying but in the off-chance that it is actually a great idea nobody will remember. For this very reason I cannot give you any real world examples. Nice.

Terminally Boring Projects:

One member of the team is really fired up about a particular idea. The rest of the team couldn't give a monkeys. This imbalance of interest means the project is still-born from conception. Its hard enough to motive a collective into action without the 'cant be arsed' factor, with it enabled you're more likely to see a stone with a donor card than you are participation from the rest of the crew. Hey, wait a minute... didn't I just describe the int13h website?

Ok, that's enough of that.

There's one question we've still got left to answer and that's why? Why would you want to fail at almost everything you attempt. Well, first off its a very niche market. As a group it seals our individuality. Well for us it has, I mean if you now started underachieving on the same scale as us you'd just be another 'also-ran', not to mention you'd have to be completely hatstand(tm). Secondly, it's a damn sight easier than actually achieving. Instead of funnelling hours of your time into a worthwhile cause it makes much more sense to sit around, bored, complaining there's nothing to do and drinking coffee (of course). Third and finally, because we can. That's it, there's no justification needed for that. We underachieve because we feel like it... whats your excuse?

As an example of true underachievement I can't bothered to do anymore to this guide. So, erm, yes. That's it. I'm done. Go away.


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