*RAIDEN Vs. MR.t*
Realname: RAIDEN (Live action film version)
Age : Immortal
Height : 5'9"
Weight : 180 lbs.
Weapons : Lightning / Corny Dialect
Realname: B. A. Baracus
Age : mid 40's
Height : 5'10"
Weight : 220 lbs.
Weapons : Gold Chains / 1982 GMC Van
*Special Guest Referee*
Real name : That Fat Tongue'd Twat
Age : Way past his sell by date
Height : About 5' something.. mainly tongue
Weight : About 400 lbs, mainly tongue
Weapons : Spitting whilst talking, being a fat tongue'd twat, crap cooking, irritating fake cockney accent, Fat tongue, gimp face, over use of the word 'pukka', crap scooter/bike, shit adverts, annoying fat cockney tongue'd spitting twat faced gimp nobbler, arrrgghhh I hate him, what a twat! DAGNAMMIT!
Pre match comments
Nightmare : Well after suspending the tournament for no reason that we have made up yet, we are back. This time up we have a real mix and match of a fight, on one side we have Raiden the god of thunder and all round top chap and on the other side we have 1980 TV show idol Mr.T with his great Van of doom and sparkly gold chains.. This could be a tough on to call..
Spooky : Once again this is going to be a tough call for me to make. On one hand we have the immortal vandergraff generator that is Raiden and on the other the ultimate 80's icon Mr.T. In fact in the time its taken me to say this it's become blatantly obvious who's going to win. Regardless of that fact I'm going with Mr.T.
Nightmare : Hmm, well I really don?t care who wins as long as that irritating goit Jamie 'twat face' Oliver gets a good kicking =)
Spooky : TWAT!!
Nightmare : God I hate him, what?s the point in his existence?
Spooky : To annoy people?
Nightmare : ...and in that he exceeds!
Spooky : ... ...... TWAT!
Nightmare : I really think that he should be put in a small box and ..... *Click*
We are at the BBC TV Studio where a certain 'Fat Tongue'd Twat' is doing a cooking show, he is doing his usual dribbling and spitting whilst doing some poofy chef stuff with food. Just as he starts getting into it there is a rumble and the side wall to the room caves in and after the dust settles a 1982 GMC Van is parked in the rubble. Just as Jamie makes a run in the opposite direction the other wall caves in and standing in front of Jamie is the godlike figure of Radien... "I don?t think so.."
Nightmare : Cool, now we are in business!
Spooky : And Mr.T is wasting no time in getting stuck in. He has found a rather hefty pile of rubble and hoisted it above his head. No mere mortal could complete such a feat.
Nightmare : Jamie Oliver has run to hide under his worktop on the stage, Raiden shoots some lightning at the flying rubble and the rubble explodes into pieces. Raiden does not look impressed.
Spooky : Well, that?s pissed T right off. He stomps right over to Raiden and plants a head butt right on his hoity-toity god nose. **flump** and T's just bounced right off Raidens face. This doesn't look good.
Nightmare : Raiden has gone for T's gold.. not a good move! T looks really quite peeved. But what?s this? Raiden is smiling... **BUUZZZEEEETTTZZZZ** Oh my, Raiden just shocked the hell out of T and he's been sent flying across the room into a closet.
Spooky : ***THUNK*** The doors slammed shut. ***CAAAACHINK*** and mysteriously locked itself. I expect that T'll be bursting out of there any second.
Nightmare : Yup, any second now.
Spooky : *** various power tool noises *** What the hell is going on in there. ***CRASH*** Whoa! The cupboard door has just flown of its hinges. It looks like Raiden has made the most common mistake made by people fighting the A-Team. He left Mr.T locked in cupboard unguarded with access to utensils. That was universally stupid! T seems to have constructed a Tank with stinger missile launcher using only a blender, two forks and spatula.
Nightmare : ***sshhhhtttt*** And the missile is off! flying toward Raiden, he shoots some lightning and hits the missile, its changing course.. oh my god.. no.. no... YES YES.. The work top explodes and Oliver is flying across the studio and into the empty crowd seating..
Spooky : T's trying to line up for another shot but Raiden is one step ahead of him and fires yet another bolt of lightning into the launcher. The turret is spinning wildly out of control. Lets get ring side and see what Raiden has to say for himself.
Raiden : *** various lightning effects *** "I don?t think so!"
Nightmare : The tank explodes, is this the end for MR.T???
Spooky : Holy cow! Something?s moving amongst the wreckage of the tank. T's alive... but wait that?s not Mr.T... it can't be, it is... ITS MECHA T! The robotic replica we all believe replaced Mr T during the later series of the A Team. Now that?s a turn up for the books.
Jamie Oliver : "What you need to do is rip the veg apart to get the full flavour.."
Raiden : "Do you mind?"
Nightmare : Oh dear this does not look good... What is Jamie Oliver thinking Spooky?
Spooky : Evidently he must be delirious. He's attempting to caramelise his broulle with a piece of flaming steel from T's tank.
Mr T. : "My tank's damn hot, foo'!"
Nightmare : T is walking up to Oliver, **SQUISH** oh, he just crushed Oliver?s head with on hand.. well thats the end of that..
Mr T. : "I aint going on no damn cookin' show foo'"
Raiden : "Are you quite finished mate?"
Mr T. : "Quit ya jibberjabbin' foo'"
Spooky : What the hell is going on here? This has turned into a damn faggot chat show. Enough with the chitchat and on with violence.
Nightmare : T has walked upto Raiden, I think its really going to kick off now! **BUUZZEEEZZ**, T is down, no he is up, no he is down... I think that last shock might have fried something important.
Spooky : Now, I'm no expert in cybernetics or robotics but I'm sure that arms aren't meant to do that. ***THWAP*** oooh, that?s gotta hurt. T's fist has just windmilled into Raidens love spuds. And the god of thunder isn't looking best pleased.
Nightmare : Raiden has got T by the head.. **BUUZZZZZ** ouch.. hes not letting go!..
Nightmare : ......
Nightmare : .... he?s still shocking him, he must be really pissed now!
** about an hour later **
Spooky : Where exactly does Raiden get all his juice from? Has anybody ever really thought about that? It's like when you've been on the beer and you seem to be able to pee forever and WHOA! T's eye's have just exploded. Bits of lens and metal have showered Raidens face and he's let T go.
Nightmare : T has turned and is heading straight for the wall..
MR.T : "outta my way foo!"
MR.T : "outta my way foo!"
MR.T : "outta my way foo!"
Nightmare : hmm, I think its over.. what a mess.. oh well.
Spooky : Still at least that fat tongued little twat has been taken out. I think that T should win on points just for that!
Jamie Oliver : "Thass whass yous fhinkss!, mwaaahahahah mahah"
Nightmare : Spooky! LETS GET HIM!!
*** Whack ***