It's A Paradox Kinda Thing

In a totally bizarre and conformist way lets start with a quick dictionary definition shall we.

par-a-dox (pr-dks). n. A seemingly contradictory statement that may nonetheless be true.

Ok? I bet your wondering where the hell this is going. Well, I was in the toilet earlier taking a leak when I started something going through my mind. It began simply enough. For some reason, which at this time I can't rationalise, I thought that it was a good idea that I don't drink my own piss. This of course is pretty obvious. However something very strange happened shortly after this revelation. I began to consider the benefits of consuming my own urine. Before you all start giving me disgusted looks I think it's important that I make the following statement.

I DON'T DRINK, NOR WOULD I EVER DRINK MY OWN OR ANYBODY ELSE'S PISS!

Two years of 'A' level Biology had taught me many things. Most of which I have long since forgotten. Inexplicably the many facts of human exctretia suddenly all flashed back into my mind. For instance did you know that urine is in fact sterilised? Urine can also contain amino acids that were not extracted first time round. Anyway, this is what started me thinking. On one hand drinking piss is bad. I know it's bad. Consuming anything that my body tries so desperately hard to get rid of strikes me as being a bad idea, yet on the other hand I have the knowledge that consuming my piss is not amongst one of the worst things I could possibly do to myself. Is this starting to make sense yet?

You see, at that moment I had two completely rational but contradicting views on the subject of piss consumption. This started me thinking about other situations where this exists.. and bugger me if there weren't loads of 'em.

E-Commerce.

I hate the commercialisation of the internet, I always have. Business has a way of taking something honest and beautiful and twisting it into a self perpetuating money driven greed machine. Pop up banners, corporate presence... all icing on the giant shit-cake. However in recent years something disturbing has happened. I buy an awful lot of my 'luxury' or fun items on the internet... I happily throw my credit card details at any E-Venture that will deliver my toys with the minimum outlay of effort on my part. I am in fact helping to feed the very fire that's destroying one of the last bastions of free information. Arse.

Hackers and Hacking.

I have always had a lot of respect for hackers. I'm not a hacker, nor have I ever claimed to be one. I'm not talking about the typical 14 year old who cuts and pastes other people's IRC bot code to DDoS somebody who took the piss out of him. I'm talking about real hackers, People who have a higher knowledge of systems, protocols and applications and yet use this knowledge to explore and investigate, not to cripple or destroy. However in my professional role as a System Admin I hate what the crackers/hackers/script kiddies have become. Every day I receive various log reports full of intrusion attempts, script hacks and blatant port scans. It's so pointless, if people are that desperate for anonymous FTP's or shell access then try asking people for it... you never know. As for the people attempting to down our servers... go outside and save yourselves.

Clanners.

I think clans are sad. What's the deal with people feeling so driven to label themselves or affiliate themselves with a group of equally deranged people? I just don't get it. Surely either you play for fun or you find something else to do? At what point does it become required to enter leagues and compete for imaginary cups... it's all too bizarre. And yet, every time I play team games online I bitch about the lack of team play and communication. I hate having no choice of the team members I am reliant on. The solution is obvious.. find a group of people who I can have fun playing games with. Obviously we'd need a name, and a little symbol and... shit!

There's plenty more... don't get me started on professional musicians, Mhz versus system capacity and Microsoft. The point I'm trying to make is that it's getting harder to see things in just black and white. These and the millions of other paradox are here to remind us to stop and think. Take a while to see things from both sides, maybe even experience both sides of the coin. Only then can you make a fair judgement... I dunno, maybe it is hypocritical, or indecisive... either way it's human nature and there's not much we can do about it. So next time you're in the toilet just stop for a second and think about something that you take for granted or an opinion that you'll argue until you're blue face and turn it on its head, who knows... maybe you'll be the one who makes the change. Right, enough of this metaphysical stuff I'm off for a shit.

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