*MIKE TYSON Vs. A GARDEN SLUG*
Realname: Mike Tyson
Age : 36
Height : 5'11 1/2"
Weight : 223 lbs.
Weapons : Boxing Cloves / teeth
A Garden Slug
Age : 4 weeks
Height : 6cm
Weight : 2 oz.
Weapons : slimey shit
Pre match comments
Nightmare : After almost a whole years break, the Who Would Win World Tournament rolls on, Why has it taken so long for the next round? Well basically its because we really really wanted to have Mike Tyson's fight next and well he had those big matches this year and it was really hard to get a solid date for him. Not only that but its been really hard persuading Don King that we didn't want to rig the fight in anyone's favour, honestly what happens will happen.
Nightmare : So here we are again, how do you think this is going to go down Spoo?
Spooky : Ahhh, so... *thumbs through script* since I always seem to back the loser this time I'm going to put my money on the winner. I mean, the fighter with the most likely chance to prevail *ahem* I'm gonna say the slug has this one in the bag. Just check his fearsome array of weaponry. *Runs of to bookmakers with a wodge of 50's*
Nightmare : Well I am not surprised you are picking Ty... THE SLUG!? Right. Then I suppose I will have to go with Tyson, poor me. Cool, look at that Aston Martin over there, pretty swanky looking.
Spooky : *Swipes car keys off announcers desk*
Nightmare : Anyway, on with the show I suppose.. Nice Mink coat by the way spooks.
The neon lights rain down on a glitzy gathering of the famed and fortunate, camera flashes and claxons sound. Outside the arena people marvel at the spectacle that is CEASERS PALACE in the immortal gambling capital LAS VEGAS. Tyson stands defiantly in the ring, pyrotechnics errupt from the corners of the ring and Tyson acts every bit the hyped showman of his youth. Then silence and lights go down. The lucky $5000 a seat audience wait, silently for the arrival of the slug.
Nightmare : Wow how overbearing the atmosphere is in here, its just awesome. It looks like the curtain is being lifted, the crowd is deadly silent!
Spooky : Waiter... more caviar nibblets please!
Nightmare : It looks like... yes.. the slug is on its way! Tyson does not seem phased by the slugs awesome entrance, the slug has more honeys hangin' off him the a Vegas pimp! *flicks through match program* Special Guest referee... VOODOO?!
Spooky : What? How the hell did that happen... Don said I was... *ahem*.... Yeah, our favourite invertebrate certainly has quite an entourage. Although he does seem to be taking his sweet time getting to the ring. I wish he'd hurry up, this betting slip is burning a hole in my pocket.
Nightmare : He is just being in the moment, in true Prince Naz fashion, his entrance is probably going to last longer then the match. It looks like someone is bringing some kind of red velvet pillow toward the slug. The slug is now on the pillow and is being held high in the air by no less then 6 glitzy Vegas ladies.
Spooky : Yup, that slug certainly is a player. He's throwing money all over those women... he is the game! They look to be raising the velvet cushion to the corner post. The slug seems to be scrunching himself into a compact little ball. *FLICK* Wow! The slugs trainer has flicked him into the ring. He's somersaulting and rolling like a thing possessed. And he's about to hit the ring... *BOOM* Holy shit! The arena is alive with explosions and lights. This mollusc certainly knows how to make an entrance.
Nightmare : The ring lights have hit and this show is about to kick off! Some last words from the Ref to the two combatants, the ref must be winking to some hottie sat next to Don in the crowd. ooeeerr Voodoo! The fighters are sent to their corners...
**2 hours later**
Nightmare : The Ref has signalled the time keeper to ring the bell. TYSON Vs. THE SLUG IS ON IN VEGAS BABY!
Spooky : Yeah Manny, that's another 10 g's on the slug... you heard me right. *ahem* And surprisingly enough Tyson makes the first move. He stomps over to the winner.. erm I mean slug and attempts land a heavy right. *SCHLOMP* And the slug has affixed itself to Tyson's glove and appears completely unharmed! Incredible.
**Loud cough heard from the front row**
Nightmare : The Ref seems distracted.. OH MY! Tyson has taken a bite at one of the slugs antenna things. That's sick, come on Ref!
Spooky : Oh that's quite stomach churning... Tyson shouldn't be allowed in the ring. Biting off that creatures only means of sensing is just cruel... there's nothing sporting in that at all. *SCHLOOP* Oh yeah baby! Fake out!! The slugs antennae has popped back out and Tyson is looking on in disbelief.
Nightmare : Sit down Spoo, man I have never seen you so passionate about a fight. What the matter with you? those new shoes to tight?
Spooky : *Smiles and sits down*
Nightmare : Tyson is in shock, he is trying to shake the Slug off his glove but its is not having any of it. The Slug looks to be making its way up Tyson's arm, oh my, Tyson is flailing around the ring in a mad panic!
Tyson : Its on my ear!! arrghhh
Nightmare : In an amazing turn of events the slug has made it into Tyson's ear!
Spooky : Can we get a camera up there?!
Nightmare : Don't be silly, how and why would there be a camera in Mike Tyson's head? **looks at monitor** Oh come on, that's just stupid why would the TV network have a camera inside Mike Tyson's head?
Spooky : Now reporting live from inside Mike Tyson's head.. here we see the Slug slithering toward what appears to be Tyson's brain.. the grey squishy thing with the eyes and antenna.. its a... OH MY GOD! You heard it here first ladies and gentlemen Mike Tyson is nothing more then a slug in a 'hardly' convincing human body.
Nightmare : ...
Spooky : It looks like the two opposing slugs are looking to face off... well I say face off... its not like slugs actually have faces. *Points out of the window* Hey whats that over there... *winks at Don*
Nightmare : The slug is charging toward TysonSlug.. **spelong** The slugs antenna just shot out and clobbered TysonSlug right in the ... um.. slug. TysonSlug has wobbled and swan dived to the floor.
Spooky : Wow.. this is a real *ahem* Slugfest *cough*... Did I just say that out loud?
Nightmare : *sigh* hmm.. TysonSlug does not seem to be getting up and the Ref Voodoo has started the count...
Voodoo : 1... 2... 3... 456789...
Nightmare : OI!
Voodoo : 10... *winks at Don*
Spooky : WOOHOOO!!! I'm rich! I'm rich! *extends arms and runs round the ring making aeroplane noises*
Nightmare : This stinks of a setup.. I wonder who could be responsible for this...
**Don King steps into the ring**
Nightmare : Just as I suspected, that's it.. **gets up into the ring**
Spooky : WOOOOO!!! Lovely lovely money... WEEEEE!!!
Nightmare : That's it, your going down Don.. ** Nightmare Pulls off Don Kings face ** ITS PMI!!?
PMI : Can you think of anyone else?
Nightmare : Jinkies! Scooby Doo ending!
Spooky : Rhood Rhun Rhaggy
int13h : Happy Halloween Everyone! ** Cooo's **
Voodoo : But its not Halloween!