Episode 1 : The Rotten Stench of Impatience
We find our heroes Captain Obvious and Sarcasm Boy captured yet again in the deep underground lair of Dr Impatient, villainous leader of the BPE (Brotherhood of Pointless Evil), bound by sophisticated restraints (double knotted thick rope) it looks like a gloomy end for our heroic duo.
Capt. Obvious : "Dammit, we are trapped Sarcasm Boy, who'd of thought those free donuts would have turned out to contain knockout gas."
Sarcasm Boy : "And the fact that they were green didn't give you any hints?"
Capt. Obvious : "We need to find a way out of this place, I don't like all those crazy caged monkeys staring at me. That one with the twitching eye is really starting to make me worry."
Sarcasm Boy : "I don't think that's a monkey."
Capt. Obvious : "If only we had a knife or some kind of sharp object, we could cut the rope and escape."
In steps Dr. Impatient with his trusty henchman Overly-complex Man. Its not long before Dr. Impatient loses his patience and snaps.
Dr. Impatient : "I see you guys are... comfortable *snigger*... Soon with the FSL leaders out of the way I can carry on with my plans to rule the earth! mmwhahhahahh"
Overly-Complex Man : "But sire, wont we have to come up with a plan first. These things don't work them selves out."
Dr. Impatient : "What are you waiting for then?!"
Overly-Complex Man : "We are 'disposing' of the Good guys first aren't we?"
Dr. Impatient : "Oh yes, of course. Now... kill them!"
Overly-Complex Man : "Wouldn't that require them being here sire?"
Dr. Impatient and Overly-Complex Man look over at where our heroes were tied up only to notice they have mysteriously vanished. A distant voice can be heard from the main corridor "Yes, we have escaped!".
Sarcasm Boy : "We haven't escaped yet, we still have to find the damn exit."
Capt. Obvious : "Just keep running man, it can't be much further ahead."
Meanwhile back in the torture room...
Overly-Complex Man : "...That's the problem with trapping Superheroes, they always seem to escape when you start talking about your plans. If we just killed them and then talked about what we were going to do then their escape wouldn't be an issue. The fact that we go on and on about things when we have the upper hand is just enough time for them to slip out unnoticed..."
Dr. Impatient : "FIND THEM AND KILL THEM!"
Overly-Complex Man : "How shall we track them down? we have various options, we could use the Lair's Automatic Superhero Tracking System (TM).."
Dr. Impatient : "That wont work... we are not dealing with your average Superheroes..."
In a dark room somewhere inside the maze that is Dr. Impatient's Lair...
Sarcasm Boy : "Ow, that was my foot..."
Capt. Obvious : "Keep searching, there must be a light switch in here somewhere."
Sarcasm Boy : "Are you sure this was the right way to go? It seems awfully narrow in here."
Capt. Obvious : "I have a feeling that this is some kind of weapon storage room."
Sarcasm Boy : "Yes of course... I often use a mop as a weapon."
Capt. Obvious : "Ah there it is... hmm, I think we made a wrong turn."
Sarcasm Boy : "The master of perception as usual..."
With the sound of sirens whirling through the corridors and foot soldiers running around in a frenzied panic, we catch up with Dr. Impatient living up to his name surrounded by his board of cronies around a big table.
Dr. Impatient : "Why haven't you found them yet?!"
Overly-Complex Man : "There are over 220 rooms spanning across 92 floors in the lair sire, it will take roughly 36 minutes for the 126 foot soldiers to cover. They are patrolling as we speak and must be getting close by now."
Overreaction Man : "What if they get into the mainframe?! it could KILL US ALL!!!"
Overly-Complex Man : "That would require them to first reroute the main power flux conduit, adjust the temporal mass refibulater and recalibrate the two phase alignment inverter. Even then we would still have more then 5 minutes to reactivate the phas...."
Dr. Impatient : "This isn't helping damn it... just find them!"
Compulsive Obsessive Man : "But surely they would have to bypass the rift housing capacitors before they can even reach the main interface panels for the Mainframe..."
Overly-Complex Man : "That too could would be a difficult task as they cant get to the housing caps without going through... the... air conditioning ducts..."
The group look at the metal tubes running along the top of the room.
Compulsive Obsessive Man : "Yes but still the rift housing can be breached with a simple...."
Capt. Obvious : "I can hear them talking, it sounds like they are right below us."
Sarcasm Boy : "Be quiet and keep moving or they will hear us."
Dr. Impatient : "Fill the ducts with gas..."
Overly-Complex Man : "But sir that would render everyone in the lair unconscious..."
Compulsive Obsessive Man : "I'll go and check the rift housing..."
Dr. Impatient : "I DONT WANT YOUR EXCUSES... DO IT, DO IT NOW!!"
Meanwhile just above ground we see our fearless heroes climbing out of a service duct and on to freedom.
Capt. Obvious : "That was a close call but again we have triumphed against adversity."
Sarcasm Boy : "What do you mean? it was your fault we got into this mess in the first place."
Capt. Obvious : "Once again we stand victorious... holding our heads high... keeping the small people safe... standing for truth, justice and freedom... Come on Sarcasm Boy, our good work today deserves a reward... donuts on me!"
Sarcasm Boy : "I am glad to see you learned a valuable lesson today."