int13h-SA-002

int13h-SA-002-Summer

Topic: Multiple vulnerabilities in Summer
Category: Core
Module: Sun
Announced: 05-04-11
Credits: Spooky
Affects: SOL Syetem, primarily the first 3 bodies.
Corrected: tbc.
int13h only: NO

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0. Revision History

v1.0 2005-04-11 Initial release.

I. Background

Billions of years ago a large gravitational force caused hydrogen molecules to compress and ignite causing massive nuclear fission reactions. This reaction brought about a star. The resultant 'Sun' heated many local orbiting rocks, one of which eventually sprouted life and was called 'Earth'. This 'Earth' rotates around The 'Sun' in an elliptical orbit taking a little over 365 days. For around 3 'Months' of the 'Year' this results in a higher exposure to The 'Sun's radiation which the local inhabitants call... summer.

II. Problem Description

During this period ambient temperatures increase, local flora begin their airborne mating cycle and the absorption rate of solar radiation by the local carbon based units increases dramatically.

III. Impact

1) As the temperature increases so the female carbon based units cover themselves less. This sounds like a good thing, unfortunately this only exacerbates the male carbon based units uncontrollable perspiring which is already at uncomfortable levels due to the ambient temperature.

2) During the mating cycles of the flora local to The 'Earth' the male component is released into the atmosphere. It then relies on currents in the atmosphere brought about by pressure changes for transport. This 'Wind' carries the 'Pollen' to the female component of a neighbouring piece of flora. Unfortunately it also carries said 'Pollen' into the eyes and up the nose of every carbon based unit. This resultant failed mating causes the carbon unit to sneeze, expel numerous liquids from numerous orifices and adjust their behaviour to that of a 'grumpy bastard'

3) Many carbon based units may achieve a variant of their usual skin colouration during this 'Summer' period. This is brought about by the increased radiation absorption by the outer skin layer and its affect on the pigmentation within said skin. Unfortunately for some carbon based units it causes a burning of the skin layer which kills the outer protective cells. This results in pain, blistering of the skin layer and in extreme cases the shedding of this layer.

IV. Workaround

There is no known effective single workaround for all three issues. However the application of sun block, anti-histamines and air conditioning can be used in conjunction to alleviate some of the suffering.

V. Solution

Do not go outside. Save yourself.

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Be Prepared!

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