Top Ten Things That Suck #14


10. Terrorists, Seriously... religious fundamentalism pretty much blows goats especially when it's not targeting the French.

9. The French. Seriously... The entire French nation pretty much blows goats especially when it's not targeting religious fundamentalism.

8. WiFi. A great idea ruined by the necesity to pay for it. There should be free and unmetered wireless internet access everywhere! I mean, there sort of is now (wink wink nudge nudge) but the coverage REALLY sucks.

7. GPRS/3G costs. £3 an MB, 3 fucking quid! Ok, so it's clear my phone tarriff sucks but my 3G datacard isn't lightyears better... My message to mobile phone networks, stop profiteering you BASTARDS!

6. Dr Pop. Safeway/Morrisons/Whatever pisspoor attempt at Dr. Pepper. It must be destroyed!

5. The Battlefield 2 account server. MAKE IT WORK!! NO LOGIN = NO PLAY ASSHOLES!! :(

4. Linux Zealots / Anti-Linux Zealots. Dude, whatever... its an operating system not a way of life. Open source is more than just a 'PC Hackers attempt at Unix', do yourself a favour and try actually using other open source os'es before flying off in a religious rage. p.s. Cosmos, that linux cat ascii shit isn't funny!

3. Pollen. Plants need to stop forcing their love-pellets up my nose. Ok, so I conceed that non-mobile lifeforms need to use external factors to breed. But honestly, do you think attempting to fertilise my nasal cavity is in anyway going to forward your species?

2. Sweatyness. Ewww... sticky-sweaty-stuck to your leg-dampness. The older I get, and I am getting old, the more I realise that being both hot and sweaty are in no way a positive state of being. With this in mind we must stop global warming! Plus I must relocate to the Arctic Circle.

1. Caravans. I hate them. They are always pulled by Volvo's or a bloody Nissan Micra. They take up too much room, go too slowly and always seem to be teetering on the point of flipping over and killing everyone in a half-mile radius. Heaven forbin one caravan should attempt to overtake another... viola, instant ten mile tailback.

This weeks top ten things that suck (excluding the film Hackers) are by Spooky.


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